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Pet Peeves

June 26, 2008

I’ve decided to keep a list of my pet peeves, because I’m a negative person. I think I have a lot of them, and I imagine people think that means I’m a testy, bitter, unhappy person who doesn’t like others. Sad but true. Okay, not really. Most pet peeves are the habits of people who peeve me continuously.

Here are some of my pet peeves. It is a fluid, ever expanding list, and so huge it’s been categorized:

Bathroom pet peeves:

  • Leaving the toilet lid open. No matter how clean your toilet, it is not attractive. Shut the lid.
  • Not replacing the toilet paper on the roller. The five seconds it takes to reload will save you five seconds every time you use the bathroom and have to manually unwind the TP.
  • Dirty mirrors. It’s always the toothpaste splatters that drive me to scour the bathroom.
  • Not flushing. Stinky, gagging, disgusting. And really just retarded.

Pet peeves in other parts of the house:

  • Stickiness anywhere.
  • Shoes on the couch.
  • An empty dishwasher and a sink full of dishes.

Pet peeves while driving:

  • Jerkiness of all sorts.
  • Oblivion to your turn signal.
  • Illegal weapons hidden in the glove box.
  • Carpooling with those who have no sense of personal space.
  • Driving in the middle of a narrow parking garage and whipping around corners. Bound to lead to a crash someday.

These may not be pet peeves, but they certainly peeve me:

  • Typical bridal shower activities. Gag.
  • The behavior of most wedding reception attendees.
  • “Babe,” “beloved,” and any other nagging or nauseating pet names.

Mealtime peeve inducers, etc:

  • Smacking or slurping your food.
  • Eating off of other’s plates without asking. I’ll say it’s OK, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask first.
  • A mouth so full of saliva that your words sound like they are sticking together. Swallow. Or stop talking so much.
  • Indecision while ordering a meal. I don’t have all night, nor does the waitress. Don’t make her come back 3, 4, or 5 times.

A description of people whose entire personality is a pet peeve:

  • Talking excessively about yourself. That’s what diaries and unvisited blogs are for.
  • Talking excessively about your life which consists entirely of the television programs you watch.
  • Being so busy talking you don’t notice that no one is listening.
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