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August 26, 2008

I try to be a very rational, reasonable girl. But sometimes, I can’t help but read into things and jump to conclusions. Some pictures disappear from a blog, and I assume it means a part of my happiness will similarly disappear.

I jump from this fact to many random conclusions. What about the conversation initiated and dropped without a word last night. (All right, it was a text conversation which I didn’t realize was dropped until waking up this morning.) What about those football tickets mentioned months ago? There’s a game Saturday, yet not a word about going. (All right, I probably can’t go anyway. It’s my mom’s birthday.)

Oh, I hate that I can’t stop thinking about this. Picturing the conversation. Feeling the pain and disappointment I would feel if it happened. Trying to think of ways to avoid it. And then coming to the horrid realization that there is no way to avoid it. I actually care, it’s going to hurt. I hate that I care. I hate being exposed.

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