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The Office

September 26, 2008

The glorious premier of the Office was last night.  I don’t watch much TV, but I may be certifiably addicted to the Office.  Few things in life give me so much pleasure.  Here are my favorite lines from the night…this list keeps getting longer and longer.

It’s my sumo suit. I just didn’t inflate it all the way. I am so glad that I bought instead of rented. – Michael

I’m on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online too so.. I’m gonna look amazing. – Kelly

Holly: He is not an idiot–
Kevin: Thank you, Holly.
Holly: –he is mentally challenged.  But he’s doing a super job here.
Kevin: Wait, back up.  Do you think that I’m retarded?

I wanted to say I’m sorry, for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid-twenties and I was.. going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9/11. I want you to know I’ve changed. – Ryan

Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. – Andy

Michael: We’re all going to die, of obesity.  So how much are we gonna lose?
Jim: I would like to loose 65 pounds.

This is what I’m gonna do. I’m going to randomly select three names, and these three people will get liposuction. Ughhhh. Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills. – Dwight

Kevin: How’s the candle game?
Jan: Oh, great. Yeah. Serenity by Jan is kicking ass, and taking names. You remember last week when that girl went missing? Guess whose candles they used for the vigil.
Kevin: Cool. Thank goodness they found her too.
Jan: Oh they found her?

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night.  It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don’t get fat.  And then, after three months I take some medicine and the I pass it.  Creed sold it to me.  It’s from Mexico.
Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.

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