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Quarter-life Crisis + 1/2 + 2 days

October 31, 2008

I started this post on the 29th, my half birthday.  I’m now 25.505479 years old.  Assuming I’m expected to reach 100, that puts me in the midst of my quarter-life crisis.  (Which, by the way, is a classifiable term that comes with all the vague and conflicting symptoms you’d expect in a diagnosis from the mental health field.)

Anyway, with a half birthday comes almost more reflection than you get with a birthday.  On your birthday, you’re allowed to refresh.  It’s OK to say, “man, I really stank last year.  But this year will be great.”  On a half birthday, you’ve still got 6 months to accomplish all the things you told yourself you’d do.  The only problem is you’ve got 50% of the time you once had to complete the remaining 83% of your goals.

This year, my primary goal was to have the funnest year ever.  With summer around the corner, I envisioned a road trip nearly every weekend and weekday adventures doing all the things I never take advantage of because they are around the corner.

Well, life is busy and sometimes obligations or even exhaustion prevent all plans from coming to fruition.  However, it’s been the best year yet (at least so far).

And yet, my life is essentially the same as it was 6 months ago.  My routine is the same.  My job is the same.  My car and clothes and hair are essentially the same.  I guess that’s OK.  But is my heart the same?  Am I becoming a better, kinder, more thoughtful person?

I need to adjust my focus.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the limited time I’ve been given.  Am I using it the best possible way?  Should my focus be on things other than having fun (although it’s always been good, clean fun)?  Shouldn’t I be becoming a better person and finding ways to serve others?

The answer to that question is obviously yes.  The real question is what should I do?  There’s something to be said for simply looking for opportunities, little RAKs, but I want a cause.  What cause…that’s the question.

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